The Vader (A Parody of the Raven)

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style='font-size:10.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;font-family:Arial'>The Vader
(A Raven parody)

By Mark Krawczyk

 

 

Once upon a Planet Dreary,
as I practiced, sore and weary,

With my light saber and book
of Jedi Lore.

I suddenly heard class=GramE>a breathing, like someone softly seething,

Seething
outside my blaster door.

"Tis
some alien" I did mutter "that's seething at my blaster door"

Quote the Vader "Open
the door."

 

My head it started reeling
and my heart was swiftly beating,

Not prepared for the dark
figure outside my door.

My arms were a class=GramE>quiver, my back gave a shiver,

While my fear extended into
my very core.

I chopped him up, this class=GramE>man who brought fear to my core,

I Left a head and torso,
nothing more.

 

I knew I should not have
stayed, should have gone far,far

away,

Hid out on
Dagobah or on Yavin Four.style='font-family:Arial'>

But stupid I had become, to the
Jedi temple I did run,

Hoping to
find one Jedi and maybe more.

In my search I had found
just 2 droids and little more.

It was R2D2 and R4.

 

The troopers, how they came
to enforce the Emperor's Reign,

With Ani's
help, they killed the Jedis by the score.

He use to be my friend but
that soon came to an end,

When the class=SpellE>Darkside pulled him through its blackened door.style='font-family:Arial'>

"You were the chosen
one," I screamed to my blaster door.

Quote the Vader
"Nevermore."

 

Out the window, I thought
I'd jump, on the bed my leg did bump,

Spilling
me out on to the metal floor.

From my hand the saber flew,
my chance to flee it did go too,

As my weapon went under my
chest of drawers,

I got up and as I reached
under the chest of drawers,

Quote the Vader "I'll
wait no more."

 

Then there came the humming
of someone swiftly running,

Running a class=SpellE>lightsaber into my blaster door,

Through the door I knew he'd
cut, to come in to kick my butt,

Right through the hole he'd
made in my metal door.

I tried to plea to him but
knew he wouldn't hear me through the door,

He wanted revenge, nothing
more.

 

My saber I did find, the
memories came and filled my mind,

Of all the brave Jedi
written in our lore,

My weapon I did light, took
my stance, prepared to fight

To Fight like I never had
before.

His red saber I could see,
as it came through the badly damaged door.

Fight with Anakin, I would
once more.

 

 

style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Part of the door, it did fall, his name is
what I called,

As the dark lord came
through the hole in the door,

He was dressed all in black
and swift with his attack,

Nearly killing me before the
battle had begun,

I countered, blocked, and
jumped, through the door I did run.

Quote the Vader, "You
are my teacher no more".

 

His powers he did use, as he
continued the abuse,

And used
the force to push me to the floor.

I held off his attack,
though I was on my back,

My own
powers coming to use to me once more.

I pushed him back into the
wall and he came at me swinging more.

Anakin was stronger than
before.

 

On and on we did fight, down
the halls of dark and light,

Until we
found ourselves at a Hanger door.

Our sabers they did clash,
with sparks that made a splash,

Shorting out the controls
and opening the door,

As we continued the fight I
knew that I soon could take no more,

I then saw the sky, and
nothing more.

 

Through the open door I did
jump, and soon landed with a thump,

Death would have to wait for
me once more,

A little droid, I can say,
had come to save my day,

In my fighter that was
driven by R4,

style='mso-spacerun:yes'> I asked, if the Jedi could ever be as strong
as before,

Quote the Vader
"Nevermore"