So I was sitting there the other day thinking What is it about Wal Mart that makes it a void in time. Let me explain.
It seems like no matter what I go into that store for it takes at least a half hour before I am out of their. that is on a good day. Its not the cashiers cause they are rather fast. Its even faster with the self check out but for some reason time seems to speed up or some kind of temporal Anomaly. Man now I am starting to sound like a Star Trek episode. But it is with out fail one of the mysteries of the universe. Its not just time speeding up on ya that perplexes me about Wal Mart. Its also the size of its aisles. I mean the super Wal Mart here in the Booming metropolis of Cow Hump Wisconsin has aisle that can fit two and a half carts across, well most of the aisles. Anyway even with this in mind, there are still times when you end up crowded or waiting for some blue haired granny to make up her mind weather she wants the 8 oz tuna for 59 cents or the 7.5 oz packet of tuna for 58 cents. No of course I am kidding we all know Tuna hasn't been that price for a while. But point being you still end up waiting to make it down the aisle to buy your case of Ramen noodles.
My last statement may have answered the question of why it takes so long to get in and out of that store. Maybe my time lord friend can shed some light on it. BTW kids You weren't voting for one of the final three on American Idol....it was the President of America you voted on...in case you may have gotten confused. J/k enough rambling time to dig in an see whats on the chopping block today.
Why its none other than the recently released Hillbilly Zombie movie known as
The Trailer Park of Terror
My favorite blond Nichole Hiltz from All Souls day is back with a decent zombie film. This one had a decent budget, great makeup and a story even. She is joined by a cast made up of faces you may recognize. No A - list actors to be sure but ones who are no stranger to the silver screen. They do a great job of selling this film and you can tell they had fun. Look for Pricilla Barnes who I recognized from Devils Rejects. Even the guy who played the Joker's gopher man Bobby is in this film.
Now going into this film I did not expect much of anything so I was pleasently surprised by the quality of the film. It had a budget and you can tell. The movie in the begining makes a reference to 2000 Maniacs as a nod to the Hill Billy Zombie film that is still one of my top 10 faves. Trailer park handles itself well the pacing is decent and the effects and make up looked good. They even got Trace Adkins to play the devil of sorts. Where there are zombies there needs to be gore and this movie does not disappoint. The last half hour really moves the film along and by the end of the film you don't feel like you have just waisted 90 mins of your life....maybe only 55mins lol. The characters are a bit cliche but in lower budget horror you have to have this so you don't have to waist pesky time on "character development" who wants that in a zombie film.
All in all this movie was a pleasent surprise and I may buy it when I see it on the bargin bargin rack. BTW I actually saw this on the new release rack at Target next to Get Smart.
As always here is my run down of the film.
Gotta love the review of 2000 maniacs
Love a song with the words "I bet that bitch can turn a crank. Make a dead man cum like a sherman tank
1 death by impalement on an iron fence
Multiple gunshot deaths
27 years
1 rabbit guttin
1 beheading
1death by crushed sternum
1 Arm Decapitation
1 Death by intestine eaten
1 Death by Compressed air
Skined and cooked alive torture sceen
1 Vehicular Homicide.
ITs worth a rental or adrop in the que if your looking for some zombie entertainment. But if you do rent it you need to also rent 2000 Maniacs and even 2001 Maniacs to make it truely a Hillbilly hoe down of the Living Dead. Hey thats kinda catchy title.
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